Britney Spears's Book Deal

Britney's book deal is a getting a lot of flak in the writing world, and I really don't understand why.

£10 million is a damn big advance for a book, so I could see a jealousy angle - it's basically every fiction writer's dream cheque. But I didn't see writers crying bloody murder when Rowling got her advances from the Potter books. (Ok, yes I did, but not nearly on this level.)

I think it all boils down to a sort of disease that afflicts those gifted with language - myself included. We writer types like to think that our gift with language and words is a measurable and direct sign of our intelligence. It's easy to trick oneself into thinking that skill with words is the same as pure intellectual muscle.

So take Britney Spears - she's pretty much the average superstar singer. I'd go on a limb and say shes a gringa version of Shakira, except that her hips do lie. She's got that right mix of talent and luck keeps getting her record deals. She does dumb things in front of cameras because the media won't afford her a moment of privacy. Worst, my God, she's blond.

People do not associate intellect with Britney Spears - they want to write her successes off as dumb luck and point to her failures and say, "That's what should have happened in the first place!"

So when someone outside our elite circle of talent lands a book deal, it's downright insulting.

Rich, famous people get book deals. People need to deal with it and quit bitching like jealous little brats. The publishing industry has been groaning beneath the weight of a massive recession, and when someone famous looks to increase our capital, people scream "unfair!"

Her book deal will probably result in the capital needed to take chances on new authors. And whoever her ghostwriter is will be living high and well for a long time to come.

This book deal is fantastic news.

School shooting forewarned, JCCC

Some odd weeks ago, one of the ASL professors discovered a piece of bathroom graffiti that read, "I will shoot the school in May."

School security has more or less been going nuts--I always see them running somewhere, lately. And who can blame them? If you throw a stone at a hornet nest, it inevitably results in angry hornets. And that ruins everything for anyone in the area.

Today, I found "MAY 15" scrawled into a bathroom stall in the JCCC library. The school gestapo came after I reported it and collected all of my personal info. I have nothing to hide and no real reluctance about answering questions such as, "Where do you live?" and "what is your phone number?" -- but I can't help feel like they had no real reason to ask me about that and not bother to ask me questions relevant to the issue. Unless of course my reporting the graffiti automatically makes me a suspect. And if this is the case, why would I ever call something like this to their attention again?

The librarian theorized that some highschooler was trying to get out of a Thursday final. It makes sense, but I can't help but be wary, given the recent number of school shootings.

If someone pulls a gun at my school, they'd better kill me on the first shot.

And believe you me, if I find the little prick writing this crap in the bathrooms, he'd better hope I don't catch up to him in a cold, dark alley. I'll break his little fingers.

The school is installing cameras over all of the bathroom doors. No word yet as to whether these are fake or not (a number of fake cameras sit in the parking garage as an attempt to deter pranksters and thieves) -- but it creates another problem altogether, in my opinion. Do we really want to attend a school where there is a solid record of our every biological function?

I wonder if some over-shy girl won't explode her bladder trying to wait for the nice, private bathroom in her home.